Hi. You’re probably wondering who the heck I am!

I’m Douglas, but my friends call me Dude. I love eating cheese and pizza … no, wait – cheese pizza! I’m telling you this because that is how it all started.

One nice sunny day, while I was sitting in a pizza restaurant minding my own business, a weird looking fellow who looked as if his face had been stamped on by an elephant came up to me.
He said “Don’t I know you?”
“No,” I said, a bit annoyed at being disturbed.
“Well, I’m sure I’ve seen you somewhere.”
”But I can’t remember seeing you!”
“Well, you must have a very short memory.” At that, he produced a card. “F.B.I. You’re under arrest for spying!”
I was quite shocked!
“I think you’ve made some kind of mistake,” I retorted. “You’ve got the wrong person.”
“I’ve heard it all before,” he said, before clapping me in irons. “Come on, you’ve got a lot of explaining to do.”
He dragged me out of the restaurant with my hands behind my back.
“The moment I get to the police station I will prove my innocence and you will look like a fool!” I shouted, struggling against his monstrous grip.
“You’re not going to any station. You’re going straight to the F.B.I. headquarters to be locked away forever!” He then gave me an injection and I fell fast asleep.

When I woke up I had a terrible headache. I sat up and looked around. I was in the back of a van. It was dark apart from one thing: a small shiny object was lying in the middle of the van. It was glowing slightly. I picked it up. It felt warm and comforting. I put it in my pocket and a strange drowsiness surrounded me and I fell fast asleep once again.

When I awoke I was lying in a cell with a single barred window and a 10 cm thick metal door. I looked outside. I was looking at a large skyscraper skimming the clouds. I looked down straight away but wished I hadn’t. I was what looked like 100 storeys up in a horrible dark building. But worst of all was the fact that there was a demolition crane just below me!
I withdrew from the window, and felt inside my pocket. I produced the shiny object I had found on the floor of the van. The object was, in fact, a key.
I suddenly had a crazy idea. I looked at the key and then at the door. I walked over to the doorand put the key in the lock. I turned it. There was a click sound as the door swung open. I gawped at the door, then I heard the sound of the crane starting up!

I knew I had a limited amount of time before the building was smashed to the ground. I ran out of the door, grabbed the key and started running along a dark corridor towards a set of stairs. When I reached the top of the stairs, I knew it would be impossible to get down the stairs in time, then something caught my eye.
There was an old Victorian hoist that could have been used to carry food up and down in the past. Without thinking, I jumped into the basket and dropped down at what seemed like 100mph. It was then I realised I wouldn’t be able to get to the pavement! I half-closed my eyes and looked down. There, just below me, was an awning. I had just enough time to jump out of the basket, on to the awning and slide onto the pavement.

As soon as I had run 200 metres away from the building, I heard a great THUMP as the old building came tumbling down. I looked back, still running, and saw dust coming from the rubble. I turned around and ran round the nearest corner. I was surprised to nearly knock someone over.
I looked up and had a terrifying surprise. “Well, well, well ...” said my evil twin. “Who do we have here?”
I gulped.

“You’re my goody-goody twin who was born two minutes before me. What a state you are in. I thought you would never get out of that building. Oh well, it doesn’t matter. At least you got me out of trouble – I am the spy they’re after – and now I will have my revenge!”
And with that, he took out an aerosol can and sprayed me in the face. I then went into a deep sleep ...

When I woke up, I found myself dangling by my feet, hanging upside down over a swimming pool. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the pool was only full of water. This one had an extra ingredient: sharks.
I looked to the side and saw my evil twin standing by a machine attached to the chain that was tied to my feet.

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !” my evil twin cried, with a crazed look in his eyes. “I will plunge you to your certain doom!”
He pressed a switch. I felt a jolt as I started to travel down. I strained my neck to look at the surface of the water. The sharks were circling menacingly below me. I shut my eyes and waited: then I heard a different type of noise. It was a loud splash.
Suddenly I stopped moving. I opened my eyes to see a shark happily chewing the remains of my twin. I was safe!

There was still the problem of my escape. I then remembered the key! I thought I might as well give it another go. I hauled myself up and grabbed on to the rope that was attached to the chain. I found the padlock on the chain, fitted the key into the lock and turned it. The padlock and chain tumbled into the water with a splash.
I hauled myself up to the pulley. Then I made my way to the side of the swimming pool hand over hand down the rope. Once I had arrived I ran to the nearest exit and straight to the police station. The moment I arrived I told them everything. They said they wanted proof
“ I’ll give you proof!” I cried, and showed them my rope burns
“That doesn’t prove anything,” they bawled.
“Fine. I will take you to the building with the swimming pool full of sharks!”

I led them out of the police station and I found my way back to my near-to-death house.
“WOW!” both police officers exclaimed together.
“Told you!” I retorted.

That was the most exciting day of my life. I’ll never forget it. But I’m completely back to normal now – and I hope nothing like that will never happen again!

The End