Have you ever heard of a rabbit called Lettuce?

Mary thought it was a good name for her rabbit, and no-one ever dared to argue with Mary.
Strange things happened to anyone who argued with Mary, or laughed at her, or got in her way. Nobody tried it twice. Oh yes, there was one boy who did – but we never saw him again. He was our best friend, and we were quite upset when he left the planet … yeah, that’s one of the four terrible and terrifying stories that have been going around. Sent to Pluto never to return … do you want to hear more? Well, ok, if you’re sure …

It all started with the rabbit. Mary got it six months ago, and she couldn’t think of a very appropriate name. One night she was rummaging in the cupboards when she found a lettuce. She jumped around the kitchen shouting “That’s it! Lettuce! The perfect name!” Billy was round there, and he laughed and laughed. He couldn’t help it. Mary was so mad with him, we’ve been told, she hypnotised him to think he was a rabbit too, and he’s out there now, lost, hopping round the countryside, living on salad. Or so they say. (Of course, some people say Billy had to move house because his Dad got a new job – but we don’t believe it. He wouldn’t go without telling us – would he?)

The next story we heard (that’s me, Lucy, and my friend Daz) was that Mary had magical powers. I know. Magic doesn’t exist. But then how do you explain this? Well, I know I can’t. But Daz can (I hope!) Over to Daz: “Well, I heard that Mary is a witch and she put a spell on Billy to make him invisible. I know this sounds silly and all, but it has to be true. I mean, how else would Billy have disappeared, unless she buried him up to his waist in sand, or she told him “I’ll be on to you,” and he was so scared he jumped off the Leaning Tower of Piza and fell into the Princess Pizza Palace?”
Thanks for that, Daz!

Actually, we think that she didn’t do any of those things. In fact, we know she didn’t. That’s because of what we saw with our very own eyes
a week after the Rabbit Incident.

Hey, are you sure you want me to tell you this? Ok, well, this is what happened. I went up to Mary and I said “Oh - hi, Mary. What on earth did you do to Billy? Where is he? You were the last one to see him, weren’t you?”
“You’re the TWENTY-FIFTH person to ask me that today!” Mary shouted, sticking her face right next to mine. Just then, there was a giant flash of lightning and a big roll of thunder. Rain started to pour down so hard we were soaked in seconds.

“Don’t ask me again!” Mary yelled, “Or I’ll, I’ll …”
Just then there was another big flash of lightning. And Mary wasn’t there anymore. I’m not joking. She just wasn’t there.

So we know what really happened. Whenever Mary lost her temper, she changed the weather! And if she was angry enough, the weather was so bad that it made people disappear in a flash of lightning! Even Mary herself!

What do YOU think? Is our story true – or just some made-up old gossip? YOU decide!